Jokes

leezoe

Another Forty Years to Live
Cindy was from the richest neighborhood in town.
One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to a hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience.
She saw an angel and asked, “Is this it?” the angel said,
“No, you have another 40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, Cindy decided to stay in the hospital
and have a facelift. She even had someone dye her hair.
She figured since she had another 40 years,
she might as well make the most of it.
She walked out of the hospital lobby and was killed
by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.
She arrived in front of the angel and said,
“I thought you said I had another 40 years!”
The angel replied, “Cindy? Is that you? I didn’t recognize you!”

A Thoughtful Gift
A man went to Africa on a tour, and decided to buy
a present for his friend in America. But everything
was too expensive for him, just like at every tourist spot.
So he bought a broken vase that cost almost nothing.
He gave the address of his friend in America to
the shopkeeper and asked the shop to wrap the vase
and send it to that address.
He thought that his friend might think that the vase was
broken in the mail and would not blame him for being stingy.
When he got home, he received a thank-you
letter from his friend. The letter said: "Thank you very
much for the broken vase. It was very thoughtful of you
to wrap every broken piece in a sheet of paper."


We're Not Responsible!
There was a primary school teacher who took her
students to see an art gallery. There everyone looked,
looked and looked, and one student kept pulling
the teacher's dress, saying, "Teacher, Teacher,
I think we'd better get out of here quickly."
And the teacher said, "Why is that?" So the student replied,
"If we stay here longer, everyone will think
that we were the students who did all these paintings."

I am the ninth letter of the alphabet
Teacher: Give me a sentence starting with I, Tommy.
Tommy: Yes, sir. I is...
Teacher: No, no, Tommy! Don't say "I is", you should say "I am".
Tommy: All right, sir. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Teacher:  ………………………………

Cowboy
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a bar for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers.
When the cowboy finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, flipped his gun into the air,
caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot
into the ceiling. “Which one of you stole my horse?”
he shouted with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered. He ordered another beer and said,
“Alright, if my horse isn’t back outside by the time
I finish another beer, I’m going to do what I did back home!”
He walked outside, and his horse was there!
He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender walked out of the bar and asked,
“Say, partner, before you go……what happened
back home if your horse was stolen?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”